EuroEnglish

[Peter Wyzlic]

On Tue, 16 Sep 1997, Dominik Wujastyk wrote:

[...]
>     By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
> "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".  During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o"
> kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou"; similar changes vud of kors be
> aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
>
>    After zi fifz yer, ve wil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer wil be no
> mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
> ozer.
>
>    ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!

This is obviously a "remake" of one of Mark Twain's satires. He
projected a "twenty-year plan" for a better English spelling:

%% (fortunes)
         A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
                          by Mark Twain

        For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
be part of the alphabet.  The only kase in which "c" would be retained
would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.  Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
        Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
        Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

\bye
Peter
--
Peter Wyzlic                                    pwyzlic at pwyz.rhein.de